(Brief recap: bad attitude= me).
Perhaps the baggage and bad attitude that come along with a break-up and its presence should go without saying, but lately I seem to have a pretty bad case of the pits. (Read: down in the dumps, frequenter of the pity party). I always forget how there is hope, and fall into a rut. And in these times, I’m the WORST for assuming that I fully understand my situation, and me.
From one perspective, what seemingly defines me: A broken heart, a love which isn’t good enough, a sense of humor which is now lame, a person who used to get called gorgeous. There must be nothing left to give.
But I am here today to say that I was wrong about me. About us, and about my crappy situation. (Can I just say that sometimes, being wrong ROCKS.)
Even in my circumstance I am not defined by my inadequacies, by my present situation, or by my hurt. I am not defined by how another person views me, or how many people want to date me. I am not defined by anything that went wrong in past relationships.
I am, however, defined by something way, way, WAY beyond this present circumstance. I am defined by my God, and he is in love with every inch of me. He whose opinion really matters, thinks that I rock. (That was terribly archaic). So, with that in mind, I want to remind myself and you good people, that you too can find a love for yourself and even those who have hurt us if you look beyond yourself for what defines you.
Let’s consider what happens when we wallow, sit, fester and breathe solely within our situation like I have clearly been doing. In the midst of my turmoil (and yes, I can call it that–breakups feel like loosing a part of yourself) my eyes can only see to the horizon…and guys, it doesn’t look good. From within our doubt and fear and hurt, we find a recipe for the rest of our lives. I see everything before me like a seemingly impossible challenge. I lie to myself: I sucked as a girlfriend, so I’ll suck at this too. WHY ON EARTH DO WE GO ON?
To quote Les Miserables: “beyond the barricade there a world we long to see.” Indeed. You should know that there is light. Bright, blind you and yours light that sits beyond the hollow place that we put ourselves in.
How do we get there?
It begins by knowing Jesus, and knowing who he is and how much he loves us. When we acknowledge it as truth, and decide that our lives are not the center of the universe (news-flash…they’re not), our situation can become a little bit smaller and less daunting. When I realize that my purpose is to seek God and do a good work in His Kingdom, I remember that He is ALL OVER that plan. He is so in on it, that He is sovereign over it. Not just present, but involved.
God has reminded me (through time in prayer, reading his Word, the encouragement of close friends, etc.), that he has a great plan for me.
“For I know the plans that I have for you,” declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11
And even though I am teeerrrible at remembering that he is in control–it doesn’t stop Him. His promises will live on through to the end of my situation, as will his blessings and provisions throughout. You and I can live in the knowledge and love of God, and what’s more? We can feel so much better about the hurt that is happening at surface level.
Keep looking for that light.